Lawyers should never ask a grandma a question if they aren't prepared
for the answer!

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first
witness, an elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment
to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and
talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones do you know the defense attorney? She
again replied, Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of
the worst in the entire state, not to mention he cheated on his wife
with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counselors to
approach the bench and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you
idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to Jail."